22 of the Weirdest Bible Verses Ever


Weirdest of the Weird Bible Verses

In a book as big as the Bible, you are sure to find a few weird verses. But it’s easy to forget we’ve got plenty of weirdness in our own culture outside of the Bible.

So if you examine weird, crazy, bizarre Bible quotes and funny Bible verses, maybe they aren’t so weird after all once they’re understood in their proper context.

So here are 22 Weirdest of the Weird Bible Verses exposed. What do we mean by exposed? 

In the next few paragraphs, we reveal the true meanings of these misunderstood verses. There are plenty of weird verses in the Bible -in the Old Testament and the New Testament.

Most lists you find of weird Bible verses make no attempt to properly resolve them.

But what if these verses are even more interesting once they’re explained? And what if we can show that the people who make fun of them are all wrong?

Weird Bible Verses

Let’s tackle some of the weirdest and toughest Bible verses together!

1) Deuteronomy 23:1

“No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.”

Explanation: God’s law did not allow for the perverted practices of creating Eunuchs by destroying their masculinity like the pagans did. The assembly of the Lord is a solemn responsibility of leadership.

God is omniscient. He has perfect knowledge of things that to us are unseen.

Conclusion: In context, this verse isn’t weird at all.

2) Ecclesiastes 1:18

“For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.”

Explanation: This refers to worldly knowledge (under the sun). It’s not referring to gaining knowledge about the things of the Lord.

King Solomon realized that the more knowledge regarding life under the sun he gained, the more he understood life’s grief and sorrow.

Conclusion: This passage views knowledge about life under the sun as one that increases sorrow – gaining knowledge about the Kingdom of God through His Living Word is THE kind of knowledge that you truly need.

3) Matthew 24:15 

“So when you see the abomination of desolation spoken of by the prophet Daniel, standing in the holy place (let the reader understand).”

Explanation: Note it says “spoken of by the prophet Daniel.” That’s Daniel 11:31.

It’s when the Antichrist enters the third temple that will be built at a future date in Jerusalem. He is also known as “The Beast” and he has his own number.

The True God calls “The Beast” Number “666” and you can read why at this post.

The Beast will enter the temple and claim to be God. By so doing, he will usurp the rightful place of Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ claimed to be God, because he really is God –and there are mountains of evidence backing it up.

Here’s where to read about Jesus’ Blatant Claims to be God -and some of the evidence that he really is God.

The abominable Antichrist won’t last long, but his 42-month ruthless global reign of terror will make current terrorists look like schoolboys. (See my post “Where is the Antichrist in the Bible?”)

With the news from recent events, the Bible has just written today’s headlines 2000 years ahead of time.

This verse might be weird alright, but for the wise, it’s a good kind of weird.

4) Proverbs 31:6

“Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress.”

Explanation: During the reign of King Solomon, strong drinks and wine were given to condemned criminals who were about to be executed, to lessen their pain and suffering.

Even our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was offered such a drink before being crucified, but He refused.

Conclusion: This verse doesn’t promote alcoholism as means to escape poverty or problems. It implies that there are less alcohol-related consequences for some (e.g. the king) than others (e.g. condemned criminals).

5) Mark 14:51-52

“And a young man followed him, with nothing but a linen cloth about his body. And they seized him, but he left the linen cloth and ran away naked.”

Explanation: After Jesus was betrayed by Judas, the Son of God commanded His followers to flee for Scriptures to be fulfilled.

One of His followers was a young man who fled naked and Bible scholars agree that this man was Mark himself.

Conclusion: Since the last supper was held at a house owned by Mark’s family, it’s only logical to imagine how this young man dressed in a simple linen cloth as he hurried to help Jesus who was betrayed by one of His disciples Judas Iscariot. A young Joseph in the book of Genesis also ran away from sin -naked- leaving his clothing behind -around 1500 years earlier. Coincidence? Hardly.

6) Genesis 25:30

 “And Esau said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am exhausted!” (Therefore his name was called Edom. -Edom means “red.”)”

Explanation: Jacob was the son who was responsible for cooking, while Esau was the hunter in the family.

And Jacob knew that Esau had a precious birthright that he wanted for himself, so he just took advantage of Esau’s weak flesh.

All that he cared about was some red stew at that very moment, even if it meant forsaking his God-given birthright.

Live for the moment they say… WRONG!

Conclusion: Esau giving away his birthright for a mere stew portrays the weakness of the flesh and how some folks are so ready to surrender eternity for some momentarily convenience, fun or… food. 

7) Leviticus 20:15

“If a man lies with an animal, he shall surely be put to death, and you shall kill the animal.”

Explanation: Beastiality is and always has been a horrible abomination in the sight of the Lord, who gave us the gift of sex and intended for it to be enjoyed only by a married man and his wife beginning with the book of Genesis.

Moses’ inspired writings in the book of Leviticus reveal what God told the ancient Jews to do to those who committed beastiality.

Not only is the human participant in this nasty sexual perversion killed, but so is the animal that was defiled.

Does this sound old-fashioned? Well, take an honest look at all the problems caused when folks don’t adhere to God’s laws, and you’ll certainly agree that his way is better.

Conclusion: Sexual immorality and perversion is a major sin for God and He takes it seriously. And guess what – so should you!

8) Judges 19:22

“As they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the city, worthless fellows, surrounded the house, beating on the door. And they said to the old man, the master of the house, “Bring out the man who came into your house, that we may know him.”

Explanation: There was this group of hedonists in Gibeah who made their perverted “request” known quite clearly.

They pounded on the door in an rude, obscene and decadent manner, implying elevated sexual aggression and lust in these sexually immoral folks.

Conclusion: This story is very reminiscent of the Sodomites who surrounded Lot’s house in Sodom (Genesis 19:5 ESV) as it shows us that Israel was in just as depraved state as it was when God poured sulfur and fire upon Sodom and Gomorrah. Israel was repeating the same behavior that brought God’s judgment on the Sodomites hundreds of years earlier.Do you disagree on how God dealt with people who violated his commands? Remember, this is real history. I’m just the messenger. 

9) Numbers 31:17

“Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known man by lying with him.”

Explanation: The Midianites that this passage refers to had a very unholy and anti-God culture that the Lord wouldn’t tolerate for His own people.

It’s kind of like our culture today. No matter we have so many problems.

If the little boys weren’t killed they’d grow into vessels of revenge and the sexually impure women would pervert the Israelite men.

We know from history that all of Israel eventually became perverted by not following this command and the whole nation paid a terrible price for it.

Conclusion: God hates idolatry and sexual immorality.

These measures might seem too harsh from our human perspective, but then our society murders millions of innocent children in the womb every year and thinks nothing of it.

And there are other accounts where Israel did not kill God’s enemies as they were told. 

Haman was from the wicked Amalekite nation. Israel did not listen when God sent them to wipe out the Amalekites, and Haman nearly destroyed the entire nation of Israel hundreds of years later during their captivity in Babylon. 

But God was merciful and Haman was hanged on the same gallows he’d prepared for Mordecai (Esther 7:10). Soon afterward, the Israelites began moving back to Jerusalem

Israel still celebrates this victory over evil today with the feast of Purim.

10) 2 Kings 2:23-24

“He went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys.”

Explanation: The young men that were mocking Elisha and ultimately God Almighty came from the city of Bethel, known as the center of idol calf worship.

They told Elisha to go up to heaven like Elija did, which is not only disrespectful to this prophet, but to the Lord that he served as well.

Conclusion: Elisha did what every genuine believer should do in such a situation – leave the vengeance in God’s hands and if it’s His will maybe two bears will pop out of nowhere to lend you a hand.

11) Numbers 22:28 

“Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?”

Explanation: First of all, Balaam was a mercenary prophet. He was a prophet-for-hire -available to the highest bidder- to say whatever he was paid to say. 

Even though he was called by God to prophecy in favor of Israel, he prophesied against them because Israel’s enemy paid more.

Balaam was so wicked that God allowed only the donkey to see the angel standing in their path. That’s why the donkey stopped in the first place.

Apparently, the Lord didn’t approve of this behavior and in a miraculous way He gave the donkey the ability to speak -and guess what the donkey did? It immediately rebuked Balaam!

Conclusion: God has the ability to do anything He pleases with His creation, including making a donkey hold a conversation. And He used this donkey to humble the disobedient heart of the prophet Balaam.

12) Proverbs 21:9

“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.”

Explanation: The roof of houses in ancient Israel was flat and plain, making it habitable, although you’ll be exposed to the elements.

But the wisdom of Solomon reveals to us that even the cramped corner of a housetop is a better place to be in than being in a house with a contentious wife.

*cough* I guess that all married men can relate 🙂 *cough*.

Conclusion: This verse doesn’t mean that you have to leave your wife but that you opt for a more humble living situation (e.g. by living on the roof) to bring more harmony at home.

Then if she’s really been quarrelsome, maybe she’ll take the hint -and just imagine her embarrassment when all the neighbors see her poor husband living up there.

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13) Deuteronomy 25:11-12

“When men fight with one another and the wife of the one draws near to rescue her husband from the hand of him who is beating him and puts out her hand and seizes him by the private parts, then you shall cut off her hand. Your eye shall have no pity.”

Explanation: This was part of the miscellaneous Laws given by God through Moses to the Israelites.

It involves quite severe punishment for a woman who does such a horrible thing, which can make a man infertile.

Conclusion: What kind of woman would even think of doing this kind of thing? Apart from the awfulness of such an act in and of itself, the related harsh punishment would promote more modesty in women’s actions.

14) Exodus 4:25

“Then Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son’s foreskin and touched Moses’ feet with it and said, “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me!”

Explanation: Moses was disobedient to God by not circumcising his son, which meant that the Lord had to confront Moses regarding the circumcision.

Eventually, his wife Zipporah took things into her own hands and circumcised their son using a flint knife, which was the go-to instrument for ritual purposes at the time.

Conclusion: Although Zipporah wasn’t an Israelite, she acknowledged the seriousness of the situation and the need to follow God’s commands at all times as she personally performed the circumcision. And in spite of Moses’ shortcomings, God was merciful and used Moses as his holy instrument to gain Israel’s freedom from slavery to Pharaoh.

15) Ezekiel 23:20

“And lusted after her lovers there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses.”

Explanation: First and foremost, it’s probably not what you think! This Biblical passage portrays how Israel falls for the idolatrous and anti-God ways of the neighboring pagan nations.

Besides, horses and donkeys are proverbially lustful according to the pagan Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Conclusion: Ezekiel was using this form of very shocking language to shake his listeners and readers who have fallen into complacency, while also reflecting the Lord’s disgust with Jerusalem’s sins.

16) Psalm 137:9

“Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock!”

Explanation: The previous verses reveal that the psalmist who wrote this seemingly awful passage had seen such horrible things done to the little ones of Israel during the Babylonian conquest of Jerusalem.

As a result, he prays that the wicked people of Babylon receive the same sort of punishment they had meted out on Israel a few years earlier.

Conclusion: Although this seemingly “eye for an eye” approach might make sense from a purely fleshly/human perspective, the New Testament calls us to a higher standard. We’re to pray for reconciliation as we trust the Lord and His righteous judgment.

17) 2 Kings 6:29 

“So we boiled my son and ate him. And on the next day I said to her, ‘Give your son, that we may eat him.’ But she has hidden her son.”

Explanation: The King of Syria has successfully besieged Samaria in central Israel and starvation among the Jews soon took place.

The famine in Samaria led to absolutely horrible things including parents eating their own children, but all this happened because Israel rejected the covenant between them and the Lord.

God had already warned Israel in Deuteronomy 28:52-53 that this would happen if they turned away from him and lived like the ungodly pagans.

Conclusion: Truly horrible things can happen if we disobey God, especially when He gives us specific warnings in advance as was the case with the ancient Israelites. When you read this truly shocking account from antiquity, are you as equally shocked at the horror of all the children our society discards daily through the abomination of abortion?

So maybe this verse isn’t so weird after all, eh?

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18) Galatians 5:12 

“I wish those who unsettle you would emasculate themselves!”

Explanation: The people Paul was speaking to were lapsing back into legalism. They were moving away from the grace given them by the sacrifice Jesus made at the cross and his tremendous victory over sin and death. 

“Sacred castration” was a pagan practice utilized by pagan priests (cultists) in the Galatia region.

This was a very destructive teaching for young Christians and Paul made it very clear that this legalism is an abomination that would take them straight back to the practices that destroyed Israel 600 years earlier.

Conclusion: Clearly, we shouldn’t take legalism lightly. Legalism attempts to shift the focus away from Jesus Christ and take away the glory of His redeeming work on the cross, which explains why Paul wrote this. Speaking of sacred castration, can you think of anybody doing the same thing today under a guise of respectability? C’mon. It’s happening all the time. Right now. In a hospital operating room near you..

19) Genesis 38:8-10

“Then Judah said to Onan, “Go into your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went in to his brother’s wife he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother. And what he did was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also.”

Explanation: According to the custom of levirate marriage that was in place at the time of Genesis 38, if a man died without having sons from his wife, it was his brothers’ duty to marry and impregnate her.

And the resulting offspring were considered the child of the deceased brother. 

Unfortunately, Onan didn’t feel like fulfilling his duties, although he did feel like having sex with Tamar. He just wanted to have fun and literally waste his semen, which showed great disobedience that infuriated the Lord.

On a side note, mastrbuation is a sin and it’s called onanism for a reason (even though Onan didn’t masturbate, yet he was still wasting his semen).

Conclusion: Onan was only after the pleasure that sex provides, without caring for his brother’s wife. This resulted in the sin of using sex exclusively for selfish, fleshly reasons and not giving Tamar offspring. This was during the time of the Patriarchs, when mankind’s numbers were still small and family members were responsible to help find a mate for everyone of age. While we’re at it, what’s our excuse nowadays for so much sexual deviation in our culture? Isn’t that weird? All the evidence shows that it isn’t helping.

20) Hosea 1:2

“When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord.”

Explanation: God commanded the prophet Hosea to marry Gomer who was a harlot.

This was a reflection of the harlotry committed by Israel by falling for false gods and idol worship.

Conclusion: By telling him to marry a prostitute, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob put Hosea in a position from which he could get a sense of how the Lord feels when His people are unfaithful, just like a harlot. Sexual deviances are never good in the long run. Not even in the short run.

21) Exodus 23:19

“The best of the firstfruits of your ground you shall bring into the house of the Lord your God. You shall not boil a young goat in its mother’s milk.”

Explanation: This is a command given by God to not practice certain pagan fertility rituals of the time.

The Israelites have just escaped Egypt with the help of the Lord, so the last thing that they’d want is to go after pagan rituals and God knows that.

Conclusion: Throughout the Bible, especially the Old Testament, we see numerous commands of God to His people regarding refraining from pagan practices and rituals, which the Most High is clearly against.

22) Revelation 8:1 

“When the Lamb opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.”

Explanation: There’s a pause between the opening of the sixth seal and the seventh seal, which is emphasized by the revealing of the 144,000 saints.

This pause is the ½-hour silence in heaven. We can only try to imagine what 30 minutes of silence in heaven feels like.

30 silent minutes in a place of constant praise and worship to our Heavenly Father.

Conclusion: It’s the 7th and final seal. 7 is the number of God’s perfect completeness. This 30-minute period in heaven represents an awestruck silence as God’s judgments are upon the earth as the seals have been removed and the scroll can now be opened.

Final Thoughts

We have to accept the fact that many people claim that some Bible verses are “weird” due to their unbelief.

They simply want to discredit God’s Living Word as they don’t care about the truth and the in-context meaning of these passages.

But, listen – you have to be insane to make fun of what’s written in the Bible or shrug it off as “weird”.

Why?

Because we know that the ultimate author of every single Bible verse is God Himself. He simply used human writers through the process of divine inspiration.

Here’s the definitive proof:

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17 ESV)

Think twice before labeling any Scripture as “weird” since it all makes perfect sense, there’s always a context and it’ll always be relevant. 

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